It had been a busy week for Sidney preparing for today’s Go Live of Pottersgate Point. After three months work the new SharePoint at Pottersgate Paints was going to be launched. The Pilot had gone very well and with the help of the super Action SharePoint guys everything in the Scope for phase one had been completed. Even Gwen Gardner’s idea for a form to be submitted when requesting additional loo rolls when down to the last one. Sidney had worked a lot of late nights getting things finished and was actually feeling quite proud of what he had achieved with SharePoint Foundation 2010. The sites looked smashing and Sidney was pleased how easy it had been to match the exact colour of the brand new Pottersgate Paint’s corporate colours. Percy Pottersgate had decided last week that he wanted the Pottersgate Paint logo to become purple.
During the many hours Sidney had worked late he not only made a few phone calls to Action SharePoint on 0121 3680055 but he also took every opportunity to call Hannah Harper to ask her advice. The highlight was, though, on Tuesday night when Hannah turned up with a pizza to share with Sidney. They sat on the floor of the IT Office eating pizza, garlic bread and laughing. Sidney was very tempted to kiss Hannah Harper but decided with the CCTV camera near it was probably best not to. The strawberry cheesecake flavoured Haagan Dazs ice cream also went down well even if it had turned into a milkshake after Hannah had driven to work.
Sidney sat at his desk feeling nervous as he prepared to switch all the Pottersgate Paint users on to Pottersgate Point. He had already changed the group policy settings so that everyone’s default home page on the Internet was http://pottersgatepoint.org , which they could also access externally and now he was about to turn off write access to the old file server. From now on any documents that needed to be edited or created could only be done on SharePoint. With the help of Colin Cousins, Sidney had placed on every desk in the company a triple folded page entitled ‘How to use Pottersgate Point’ on each desk. Unfortunately folding had never been Sidney’s strong point and some were better than others. All End Users should have attended the ninety minutes SharePoint End User training course with the Action SharePoint chap last week, but it was still felt that a ‘How to...” would be useful for the common small tasks. Sidney had wanted to get these laminated but was too scared to ask Gwen Gardner especially as she had interrogated him about his excessive staple usage last Thursday.
The first day of Pottersgate Point went very smoothly. Sidney and Colin were kept busy, but most of the calls were because people hadn’t got permissions to access documents they had previously been able to see. The Department Super Users did well and even Gwen Gardner appeared for a moment to have actually tried to help somebody. Louis Le Gover, European Sales Manager, did seem to be directing quite a few questions to Hannah Harper. Sidney told him that Simon Sedgley was the Sales Super User and all Sales SharePoint questions should be directed to Simon or to IT.
Comments on the launch of SharePoint were all very favourable. Even Quinton Quigley, the Quality Manager, congratulated Sidney on an excellent system that he said ticked all the Quality boxes and legal requirements. Sidney was really chuffed and noticed that people even started to use his name. He was no longer just that bloke from IT. He was even more pleased when Pottersgate Paint’s MD Percy Pottersgate came down to personally congratulate Sidney. It was a pity that Percy Pottersgate slipped on a patch of melted Haagen Dazs ice cream and went skidding off towards the Server Room, but only after announcing he was holding a party tonight to celebrate the launch of Pottersgate Point.
Sidney had been unsure about if he had been invited to the party that night and was delighted to receive email confirmation later that afternoon. The party was for Senior Managers and all the SharePoint Project Team. It was actually being held at the home of Percy Pottersgate at the address The Pavilion, Portway Parade, Perry Barr. Sidney was relieved to see the dress code was smart casual as he still hadn’t got that tea stain out of his best suit.
First thing Sidney had to do was ring Hannah Harper and see if they could go together. His mood soon changed when Hannah Harper told Sidney she had already agreed to go with Louis Le Gover. She did seem quite sad about this and then suggested that the three of them could all go together. Sidney agreed, offered to drive and to pick up Hannah first. He could tell that Hannah liked this idea. So four hours later after a visit to the hair-dressers, buying a new ‘non iron’ shirt from Asda and having a long shower Sidney was ready to pickup Hannah Harper.
As Sidney escorted Hannah Harper to the car he told her how lovely she looked in her black silky top. Hannah blushed slightly and then pealed Sidney’s ‘Reduced to £6’ label off the back of his shirt. The two shared many smiles as Sidney drove to pick up Louis Le Gover. Hannah asked if she should get in the back. But Sidney said that Louis could go in the back. All too quickly they were continuing their journey with Louis Le Gover cramped in the back and Sidney with the music deliberately turned up to drown out the Frenchman.
Both Monsieur Le Gover and Hannah were surprised to see Sidney going an unusual way to Perry Barr. Sidney then pulled outside a red coloured house with stone-cladding on somewhere in Gornall. Sidney had offered a lift to the party to somebody else and the two passengers were thinking who it could be as Sidney went to the front door. The look of horror on Louis Le Gover’s face said it all as a minute later Sidney was pushing Gwen Gardner towards him through the small driver’s side door of his two door car. Sidney had arranged a date for Louis Le Gover and told Gwen Gardner how much Louis was looking forward to it.
At the party Sidney and Hannah stayed close together and Sidney started to feel like they were finally a couple. Louis Le Gover was being dragged around by Gwen Gardner who was already on her seventh glass of wine and second cigar. The buffet was superb and Percy Pottersgate even introduced Sidney and Hannah to his wife Patricia. Then it came for Percy Pottersgate to make a speech and thank everyone who had been involved in the successful launch of Pottersgate Point. Sidney felt slightly sad that the guys from Action SharePoint weren’t there as they had been such a great help and really gone beyond the ‘call of duty’. They had charged less than £15,000 for all their work, training sessions and manuals. They had pointed Sidney towards lots of valuable SharePoint add-ons like his favourite scanning one Dark Blue Duck and the Holiday Planner from Pentalogic.
Percy Pottersgate then announced to his delight that the man behind the Pottersgate Point was here tonight. Sidney prepared to be called forward.
“I give you my nephew, Peter Pottersgate”, Percy Pottersgate announced and Sidney saw the familiar spotty face of young Peter Pottersgate. Sidney wasn’t too disappointed he had Hannah Harper holding on to his arm.
“I’m bored”, came a voice from behind Sidney and he turned round to see, Percy Pottersgate’s granddaughter, Penelope Pottersgate sticking cocktail sticks into the bottom of a very surprised looking Louis Le Gover.
Percy Pottersgate continued his speech and then made an announcement that shocked the whole room including Sidney.
“The use of SharePoint at Pottersgate Paints is going to save us tens of thousands of pounds and probably save Pottersgate Paints. I want to say a big thank you to Sidney, our IT Manager, for all his tremendous hard work. I didn’t get where I am today without noticing hard work. I have decided to reward Sidney by making him IT Director and giving him a place on the board of Pottersgate Paints. Well done Sidney. Hip hip...”, Percy Pottersgate started the cheers for Sidney.
Sidney was beaming and thinking things couldn’t get any better when Hannah Harper took his hand and led him out into the garden. The two kissed under a blanket of stars on this clear night.
Hannah Harper, from Accounts, suddenly stopped kissing Sidney, looked into his eyes and said, “I love you Sidney Sharepoint”.
Showing posts with label hannah harper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hannah harper. Show all posts
Friday, October 15, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Secret Diary of Sidney Sharepoint (Part 12)
Even though it was now over a week since the football tournament Percy Pottersgate was still not a happy MD this Friday morning. Gavin Galloway had phoned him at least twice every day to gloat about Galloway Gloss winning the Midland Paints trophy, again. Sidney at least was still being claimed a star for his brave goalkeeping in the semi-final. Sidney had been feeling quite jolly all week as he was still remembering his date with Hannah Harper and was also delighted that Peter Pottersgate would not be returning to Pottersgate Paints after his own goal. Sidney was also very pleased that all of his requests for members of the SharePoint Project Team had been agreed including Hannah Harper. The only part that Sidney didn’t like was the decision that Gwen Gardner, the cigar smoking PA, would also be on the Project Team.
The first meeting of the new SharePoint Project Team yesterday was a big success. The Action SharePoint Consultant led a three hour Admin Training course to start with that even Gwen Gardner seemed to enjoy. They were all impressed at how easy the Action SharePoint man added a video of the latest Pottersgate Paint TV advert to one of the SharePoint sites. Although, Sidney did wonder why he had never seen any of the three glamorous looking ladies in the advert walking around the site? He decided not to comment as Hannah Harper was sitting quite near. The Training Department team member, Tonia Toothpick, was very taken with the ease in which she was able to create a ‘Trainee Feedback’ survey which even allowed her to ask extra questions depending on previous answers. Some of the other Project Team though created slightly more informal surveys. One did a survey on holiday plans and Gwen Gardner, scarily, did one rating the hunkiness of the male employees at Pottersgate Paints. Interestingly the survey created by Hannah Harper was on recent visits to the cinema.
Sidney had really enjoyed his date with Hannah Harper watching Shrek in 3D, despite having a rather swollen and squashed nose after his goalkeeping save. It made him sound like Melvyn Bragg off the South Bank Show, but Hannah seemed to take pity on him. She even called Sidney her hero for his heroic save even though she was slightly puzzled why he hadn’t told her he was playing in the 5-a-side tournament. With his disfigured nose Sidney did struggle keeping the 3D glasses on but this just made Hannah smile more. They even shared a tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Sidney was slightly concerned that a few drops of blood from his nose had fallen into the ice cream but decided not to say. Hannah just said how nice the strawberry sauce was.
After the SharePoint Training session the Action SharePoint chap led the first real Pottersgate Paints SharePoint Project Team meeting. Even though Gwen Gardner refused to be minute taker, everyone had their say. It was clear that the Action SharePoint Consultant had done this kind of thing lots of times before. He was able to answer all of their questions including the continual worry from Quinton Quigley, the Quality Manager, about security. In the end Quinton Quigley was satisfied that confidential documents would in fact be more secure under SharePoint than they were on the desktop of his laptop. He was also delighted that the document control part of SharePoint would help the Pottersgate Paints’ ISO 9001 inspections.
The SharePoint meeting had finished with a discussion over the name they should give to the new SharePoint system at Pottersgate Paints. Ideas included ‘PottersPoint’ and ‘Pottersgate Resource and Training Site (PRATS)’, but in the end it was decided to make the choosing of the name a competition for all of the staff.
Just after lunch on Friday all the Pottersgate Paints SharePoint Project Team members met in the car park ready to have a group photograph taken for the company magazine ‘Pottersgate Paints News’. Sidney was quite excited because he had never been in the magazine before. He was also thinking that perhaps he could arrange it so he was standing next to Hannah Harper. He noticed that Hannah looked particularly lovely today in her black and white skirt. The official company photographer was Simon Snapper and he got the job because he owned the biggest camera. His photography skills didn’t really match his impressive equipment though and his nervous twitch often resulted in some surprising pictures. He also had a habit of cutting people’s heads off. Percy Pottersgate had not been over impressed at the opening of the Perry Barr site when Simon Snapper managed to cut the head off the Duke of Kent on the official photograph. Simon Snapper spent ages trying to position the SharePoint Project Team and just as he had them in the right place Gwen Gardner announced that she was going to go in the centre and pushed in the middle of Sidney and Hannah. Gwen Gardner had obviously planned her outfit for the photograph and was wearing a large hat with a feather on. It was certainly not what she normally wore to work even on dress-down Fridays. The feather was just in front of poor Sidney’s face. It started to tickle his nose and he felt the need to sneeze. He tried to hold it back but just as Simon Snapper finally started taking the photograph Sidney gave an almighty sneeze.
Just as Sidney was leaving the car park he was tapped on the shoulder by Gwen Gardner.
“We have a fourteen year old on work experience for the next two weeks and she’ll be spending it with you in IT”, Gwen Gardner informed Sidney.
Sidney’s heart sank as he knew how draining it can be entertaining a child on work experience. He asked for a name.
“Penelope Pottersgate. Percy’s granddaughter”, Gwen replied sternly just before taking a cigar out from her handbag.
The first meeting of the new SharePoint Project Team yesterday was a big success. The Action SharePoint Consultant led a three hour Admin Training course to start with that even Gwen Gardner seemed to enjoy. They were all impressed at how easy the Action SharePoint man added a video of the latest Pottersgate Paint TV advert to one of the SharePoint sites. Although, Sidney did wonder why he had never seen any of the three glamorous looking ladies in the advert walking around the site? He decided not to comment as Hannah Harper was sitting quite near. The Training Department team member, Tonia Toothpick, was very taken with the ease in which she was able to create a ‘Trainee Feedback’ survey which even allowed her to ask extra questions depending on previous answers. Some of the other Project Team though created slightly more informal surveys. One did a survey on holiday plans and Gwen Gardner, scarily, did one rating the hunkiness of the male employees at Pottersgate Paints. Interestingly the survey created by Hannah Harper was on recent visits to the cinema.
Sidney had really enjoyed his date with Hannah Harper watching Shrek in 3D, despite having a rather swollen and squashed nose after his goalkeeping save. It made him sound like Melvyn Bragg off the South Bank Show, but Hannah seemed to take pity on him. She even called Sidney her hero for his heroic save even though she was slightly puzzled why he hadn’t told her he was playing in the 5-a-side tournament. With his disfigured nose Sidney did struggle keeping the 3D glasses on but this just made Hannah smile more. They even shared a tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Sidney was slightly concerned that a few drops of blood from his nose had fallen into the ice cream but decided not to say. Hannah just said how nice the strawberry sauce was.
After the SharePoint Training session the Action SharePoint chap led the first real Pottersgate Paints SharePoint Project Team meeting. Even though Gwen Gardner refused to be minute taker, everyone had their say. It was clear that the Action SharePoint Consultant had done this kind of thing lots of times before. He was able to answer all of their questions including the continual worry from Quinton Quigley, the Quality Manager, about security. In the end Quinton Quigley was satisfied that confidential documents would in fact be more secure under SharePoint than they were on the desktop of his laptop. He was also delighted that the document control part of SharePoint would help the Pottersgate Paints’ ISO 9001 inspections.
The SharePoint meeting had finished with a discussion over the name they should give to the new SharePoint system at Pottersgate Paints. Ideas included ‘PottersPoint’ and ‘Pottersgate Resource and Training Site (PRATS)’, but in the end it was decided to make the choosing of the name a competition for all of the staff.
Just after lunch on Friday all the Pottersgate Paints SharePoint Project Team members met in the car park ready to have a group photograph taken for the company magazine ‘Pottersgate Paints News’. Sidney was quite excited because he had never been in the magazine before. He was also thinking that perhaps he could arrange it so he was standing next to Hannah Harper. He noticed that Hannah looked particularly lovely today in her black and white skirt. The official company photographer was Simon Snapper and he got the job because he owned the biggest camera. His photography skills didn’t really match his impressive equipment though and his nervous twitch often resulted in some surprising pictures. He also had a habit of cutting people’s heads off. Percy Pottersgate had not been over impressed at the opening of the Perry Barr site when Simon Snapper managed to cut the head off the Duke of Kent on the official photograph. Simon Snapper spent ages trying to position the SharePoint Project Team and just as he had them in the right place Gwen Gardner announced that she was going to go in the centre and pushed in the middle of Sidney and Hannah. Gwen Gardner had obviously planned her outfit for the photograph and was wearing a large hat with a feather on. It was certainly not what she normally wore to work even on dress-down Fridays. The feather was just in front of poor Sidney’s face. It started to tickle his nose and he felt the need to sneeze. He tried to hold it back but just as Simon Snapper finally started taking the photograph Sidney gave an almighty sneeze.
Just as Sidney was leaving the car park he was tapped on the shoulder by Gwen Gardner.
“We have a fourteen year old on work experience for the next two weeks and she’ll be spending it with you in IT”, Gwen Gardner informed Sidney.
Sidney’s heart sank as he knew how draining it can be entertaining a child on work experience. He asked for a name.
“Penelope Pottersgate. Percy’s granddaughter”, Gwen replied sternly just before taking a cigar out from her handbag.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Secret Diary of Sidney Sharepoint (Part 11)
Pottersgate Paints were two-nil up against Coventry Crowns thanks to two rather flashy goals from Peter Pottersgate. Sidney was having a very quiet time in goal wearing a goalkeeping top that was three sizes too big as it belonged to Gary Greedy. Sidney’s mind wasn’t totally on the game as he had somehow managed to arrange to take Hannah Harper to see Shrek Forever After in 3D on the same night as he was playing for Pottersgate Paints in the Midland Paints 5-a-side Cup. Sidney had tried several ways to get out of playing including claiming he had sprained his left ankle. The result was Ronald Roughwood, the Safety Manager, wrapping a very tight bandage around Sidney’s ankle. The bandage was so tight that Sidney’s whole leg was now a funny shade of blue. So it was now six o’clock and Hannah was still expecting him at Star City in ninety minutes. The one good thing was that Sidney had done a test run last night and found that he could drive from the Sports Centre to Star City in just seven and a half minutes.
Sidney was quite pleased how his week had gone and with the help of Action SharePoint had made a good start on the SharePoint project. They had even managed to allow Sidney to install a full copy of SharePoint Foundation 2010 on his Windows 7 Enterprise laptop so he could try some things out at home. He had also found the spreadsheet they gave him to let each department let him know which documents they currently had stored very useful. Of course, Gwen Gardner had insisted on her spreadsheet being three times longer than anybody else’s. Sidney had been surprised to find that across the company there were eight separate copies of the Quality Manuals all containing different versions. He was starting to see how much SharePoint was going to benefit Pottersgate Paints.
It was as Sidney was thinking about what Percy Pottersgate was going to think about the email he sent him this morning, with the suggestions for members of the SharePoint Project Team on, that a loud cheer echoed around the Sports Hall. Sidney looked up to see that Peter Pottersgate was celebrating in a rather laddish way after completing his hat-trick. Sidney had suggested himself as ‘Technical Lead’ and had even tried to recommend Hannah Harper as the representative for the Accounts Department. He had also suggested that Quinton Quigley, the Quality Manager, could be the SharePoint Project Manager even though he didn’t work Mondays. The Action SharePoint chaps had suggested the different Project Roles to Sidney and arranged a day of training for the project team a week on Thursday.
It was now nearly half past six and Sidney still hadn’t had a save to make. Pottersgate Paints had won their first three matches and were looking unbeatable. Percy Pottersgate was sitting in the balcony overlooking the pitch and looking very pleased. It looked like this was finally going to be Pottersgate Paints' year. Sidney was becoming more worried about missing his date and thinking perhaps he should have told Hannah Harper he might be late. This could be his one chance of a date with the lovely Hannah and he was stuck wearing a giant goalkeeper’s shirt. At least with the big shirt he had been able to put his favourite blue polo shirt underneath ready for his date. His tracksuit bottoms not only saved him from banging his legs but also hid his black bootleg jeans. He worked out he could be changed in under a minute if needed.
Next game was the quarter-final against the Tipton Topcoats and within minutes Peter Pottersgate was celebrating another goal. Sidney was thinking about sharing a bucket of popcorn with Hannah Harper when he noticed the Tipton Topcoat striker running towards him. Sidney dived to his left and the ball went to his right. An equaliser and Sidney started to think that if Pottersgate Paints get knocked out against Tipton Topcoats that he could yet make his date. Five minutes later and another shot from the Tipton Topcoats’ striker was heading straight at Sidney. Sidney jumped out of the way of the ball. Unfortunately for Sidney the ball struck his large bandaged foot and shot off to the halfway line. Where it was collected neatly by Peter Pottersgate before he twisted past three Tipton Topcoats players and scored the winning goal.
The Semi Final saw Pottersgate Paints take on their old rivals Galloway Gloss. Sidney knew that if they won and reached the final he would miss his date with Hannah Harper completely; at least if they lost he would only be a few minutes late. Percy Pottersgate called the team together before the game and told them in no uncertain terms that this was a game they had to win or they would all be looking for new jobs come Monday. It was a grudge match as Galloway Gloss had knocked Pottersgate Paints out the last two years. The game started well for Sidney as Galloway Gloss scored almost straight from kickoff and the ball was hit so hard that nobody could blame Sidney. Just after half time Pottersgate Paints equalised and for once the scorer wasn’t Peter Pottersgate but Satnam Singh from Sales. It was now a quarter past seven and the game looked set for extra time when Galloway Gloss had a break away. It was the number four of Galloway against Sidney. All Sidney had to do was let in this goal and he could soon be on a date with Hannah Harper. Sidney opened his legs wide to give the number four more of the goal to aim at and closed his eyes. Bang! The ball struck Sidney full on the face. Sidney was dazed and didn’t see what happened next. The ball travelled up in the air and came down right by Peter Pottersgate. Peter was trying a very ambitious overhead kick but appeared to forget which way he was facing and instead struck the ball straight into his own goal. Pottersgate Paints were beaten and Sidney was going to be able to go on his date. Just unfortunate that Sidney now had blood pouring from his nose and the imprint of a football on his left cheek.
Sidney was quite pleased how his week had gone and with the help of Action SharePoint had made a good start on the SharePoint project. They had even managed to allow Sidney to install a full copy of SharePoint Foundation 2010 on his Windows 7 Enterprise laptop so he could try some things out at home. He had also found the spreadsheet they gave him to let each department let him know which documents they currently had stored very useful. Of course, Gwen Gardner had insisted on her spreadsheet being three times longer than anybody else’s. Sidney had been surprised to find that across the company there were eight separate copies of the Quality Manuals all containing different versions. He was starting to see how much SharePoint was going to benefit Pottersgate Paints.
It was as Sidney was thinking about what Percy Pottersgate was going to think about the email he sent him this morning, with the suggestions for members of the SharePoint Project Team on, that a loud cheer echoed around the Sports Hall. Sidney looked up to see that Peter Pottersgate was celebrating in a rather laddish way after completing his hat-trick. Sidney had suggested himself as ‘Technical Lead’ and had even tried to recommend Hannah Harper as the representative for the Accounts Department. He had also suggested that Quinton Quigley, the Quality Manager, could be the SharePoint Project Manager even though he didn’t work Mondays. The Action SharePoint chaps had suggested the different Project Roles to Sidney and arranged a day of training for the project team a week on Thursday.
It was now nearly half past six and Sidney still hadn’t had a save to make. Pottersgate Paints had won their first three matches and were looking unbeatable. Percy Pottersgate was sitting in the balcony overlooking the pitch and looking very pleased. It looked like this was finally going to be Pottersgate Paints' year. Sidney was becoming more worried about missing his date and thinking perhaps he should have told Hannah Harper he might be late. This could be his one chance of a date with the lovely Hannah and he was stuck wearing a giant goalkeeper’s shirt. At least with the big shirt he had been able to put his favourite blue polo shirt underneath ready for his date. His tracksuit bottoms not only saved him from banging his legs but also hid his black bootleg jeans. He worked out he could be changed in under a minute if needed.
Next game was the quarter-final against the Tipton Topcoats and within minutes Peter Pottersgate was celebrating another goal. Sidney was thinking about sharing a bucket of popcorn with Hannah Harper when he noticed the Tipton Topcoat striker running towards him. Sidney dived to his left and the ball went to his right. An equaliser and Sidney started to think that if Pottersgate Paints get knocked out against Tipton Topcoats that he could yet make his date. Five minutes later and another shot from the Tipton Topcoats’ striker was heading straight at Sidney. Sidney jumped out of the way of the ball. Unfortunately for Sidney the ball struck his large bandaged foot and shot off to the halfway line. Where it was collected neatly by Peter Pottersgate before he twisted past three Tipton Topcoats players and scored the winning goal.
The Semi Final saw Pottersgate Paints take on their old rivals Galloway Gloss. Sidney knew that if they won and reached the final he would miss his date with Hannah Harper completely; at least if they lost he would only be a few minutes late. Percy Pottersgate called the team together before the game and told them in no uncertain terms that this was a game they had to win or they would all be looking for new jobs come Monday. It was a grudge match as Galloway Gloss had knocked Pottersgate Paints out the last two years. The game started well for Sidney as Galloway Gloss scored almost straight from kickoff and the ball was hit so hard that nobody could blame Sidney. Just after half time Pottersgate Paints equalised and for once the scorer wasn’t Peter Pottersgate but Satnam Singh from Sales. It was now a quarter past seven and the game looked set for extra time when Galloway Gloss had a break away. It was the number four of Galloway against Sidney. All Sidney had to do was let in this goal and he could soon be on a date with Hannah Harper. Sidney opened his legs wide to give the number four more of the goal to aim at and closed his eyes. Bang! The ball struck Sidney full on the face. Sidney was dazed and didn’t see what happened next. The ball travelled up in the air and came down right by Peter Pottersgate. Peter was trying a very ambitious overhead kick but appeared to forget which way he was facing and instead struck the ball straight into his own goal. Pottersgate Paints were beaten and Sidney was going to be able to go on his date. Just unfortunate that Sidney now had blood pouring from his nose and the imprint of a football on his left cheek.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Secret Diary of Sidney Sharepoint (Part 9)
Back in the Pottersgate IT Department Office the mood was gloomy. Peter Pottersgate was trying to shred his World Cup Wallchart and Colin was trying to make his CV sound vaguely interesting in case his job was in doubt. Sidney was just emailing Hannah Harper to ask how her weekend camping trip had been with her Aunt Ada and cousin Jessica. Sidney had caught a glimpse of Hannah that morning and she was wearing a very pretty black and white outfit. He had waved at Hannah, but she had not seen him as she had been distracted by Peter Pottersgate on his skateboard. Sidney thought that maybe he could bump into her later in the canteen. Sidney’s romantic emailing though was interrupted by the loud entrance of MD Percy Pottersgate.
“Ah Sidney, how was your weekend? Good, how’s my favourite nephew doing?” Percy Pottersgate said without pausing.
Sidney decided that he was rather tired of young Peter Pottersgate’s flirty antics with the lovely Miss Harper and told Percy Pottersgate how Peter had been breaking site rules by riding a skateboard. Percy Pottersgate was furious and Sidney could see the blood rising to his face. This was it Peter Pottersgate was finally in big trouble.
“What! You let Peter on a skateboard on site? Are you mad?” Percy was so cross and for some reason the anger was being aimed at Sidney. “Don’t you know how important that left foot is? It is the Birmingham Paint Manufacturers five-a-side tournament in two weeks and I want to win it. I am fed up of listening to Gavin Galloway of Galloway Gloss gloating about winning every year. Peter is our best hope. He had trials with Accrington Stanley you know”.
So now Sidney knew exactly why he had been lumbered with Peter Pottersgate this last month. It was all to give Pottersgate Paints a chance of five-a-side glory.
“Have the blokes from Action SharePoint arrived yet then?” Percy abruptly changed the subject. Sidney was forced to say no, mainly because the meeting wasn’t scheduled until 2pm that afternoon and it was only ten to ten now. Percy Pottersgate then informed Sidney that he had moved the meeting forward three hours as he was having the first five-a-side training session this afternoon. Sidney now was starting to panic as he had hoped to let the Action SharePoint people do most of the talking.
“Let’s start at 11 then”, Percy shouted as he left the IT Office.
Sidney was now very worried and desperately trying to gain some useful information from the Action SharePoint website http://www.actionsharepoint.com . The site was full of great SharePoint information, but Sidney was having trouble taking it all in. Just then the phone rang. It was yet another IT market survey asking him lots of questions about his IT structure. Sidney tried to explain that he was short of time but the lady on the other end seemed to have difficulty understanding Sidney and just wanted him to rate different computer manufacturers. In the end Sidney just answered a rating of seven for everyone. He hasn’t even heard of some of the manufacturers but just wanted to finish the call. Sidney put the phone down and instantly it rang again. Sidney was ready for another survey or a recruitment agency, but instead it was the consultant from Action SharePoint. The caller was just checking that Pottersgate Paints had a digital projector for this afternoon. When Sidney told them about the change of time he couldn’t believe his luck when the person on the other end of the phone said that they could change their plans and as they were in the Birmingham area they could be there in an hour.
The Action SharePoint presentation to the board was very well received by all around the table except old Bill Bell was not impressed. He didn’t like these modern computers and felt that the IT Department in general was a waste of money. Bill Bell could not see why in a time when Pottersgate Paints were struggling that they should spend any money. The Action SharePoint consultants showed that by automating many of the paper systems Pottersgate Paints could save considerable time and money. Bill Bell was also worried about security and said he trusted the lock on his filing cabinet more than any computer system. Percy Pottersgate seemed quite keen on SharePoint and was impressed that the Action SharePoint presentation included the Pottersgate Paints logo on each of the sites and even a photograph of him taken from the website looking mighty fine. The way the Pottersgate Paints supplier spreadsheet was impressively converted into a SharePoint list in just seconds Sidney thought was pretty neat. Bill Bell just said “what about people without computers?”
Sidney felt the meeting went well and was really pleased with himself for inviting the Action SharePoint guys even if the one did beat him to the last chocolate digestive. Percy Pottersgate had asked Sidney to put together a detailed project proposal for tomorrow morning including a breakdown of all cost savings over the next three years. Sidney had missed his lunch in the canteen with Hannah Harper and now he was going to have a long night writing this Project Proposal. A good starting point though was the free ’12 Step SharePoint Project Checklist’ he had been given by the Action SharePoint consultants.
“Ah Sidney, how was your weekend? Good, how’s my favourite nephew doing?” Percy Pottersgate said without pausing.
Sidney decided that he was rather tired of young Peter Pottersgate’s flirty antics with the lovely Miss Harper and told Percy Pottersgate how Peter had been breaking site rules by riding a skateboard. Percy Pottersgate was furious and Sidney could see the blood rising to his face. This was it Peter Pottersgate was finally in big trouble.
“What! You let Peter on a skateboard on site? Are you mad?” Percy was so cross and for some reason the anger was being aimed at Sidney. “Don’t you know how important that left foot is? It is the Birmingham Paint Manufacturers five-a-side tournament in two weeks and I want to win it. I am fed up of listening to Gavin Galloway of Galloway Gloss gloating about winning every year. Peter is our best hope. He had trials with Accrington Stanley you know”.
So now Sidney knew exactly why he had been lumbered with Peter Pottersgate this last month. It was all to give Pottersgate Paints a chance of five-a-side glory.
“Have the blokes from Action SharePoint arrived yet then?” Percy abruptly changed the subject. Sidney was forced to say no, mainly because the meeting wasn’t scheduled until 2pm that afternoon and it was only ten to ten now. Percy Pottersgate then informed Sidney that he had moved the meeting forward three hours as he was having the first five-a-side training session this afternoon. Sidney now was starting to panic as he had hoped to let the Action SharePoint people do most of the talking.
“Let’s start at 11 then”, Percy shouted as he left the IT Office.
Sidney was now very worried and desperately trying to gain some useful information from the Action SharePoint website http://www.actionsharepoint.com . The site was full of great SharePoint information, but Sidney was having trouble taking it all in. Just then the phone rang. It was yet another IT market survey asking him lots of questions about his IT structure. Sidney tried to explain that he was short of time but the lady on the other end seemed to have difficulty understanding Sidney and just wanted him to rate different computer manufacturers. In the end Sidney just answered a rating of seven for everyone. He hasn’t even heard of some of the manufacturers but just wanted to finish the call. Sidney put the phone down and instantly it rang again. Sidney was ready for another survey or a recruitment agency, but instead it was the consultant from Action SharePoint. The caller was just checking that Pottersgate Paints had a digital projector for this afternoon. When Sidney told them about the change of time he couldn’t believe his luck when the person on the other end of the phone said that they could change their plans and as they were in the Birmingham area they could be there in an hour.
The Action SharePoint presentation to the board was very well received by all around the table except old Bill Bell was not impressed. He didn’t like these modern computers and felt that the IT Department in general was a waste of money. Bill Bell could not see why in a time when Pottersgate Paints were struggling that they should spend any money. The Action SharePoint consultants showed that by automating many of the paper systems Pottersgate Paints could save considerable time and money. Bill Bell was also worried about security and said he trusted the lock on his filing cabinet more than any computer system. Percy Pottersgate seemed quite keen on SharePoint and was impressed that the Action SharePoint presentation included the Pottersgate Paints logo on each of the sites and even a photograph of him taken from the website looking mighty fine. The way the Pottersgate Paints supplier spreadsheet was impressively converted into a SharePoint list in just seconds Sidney thought was pretty neat. Bill Bell just said “what about people without computers?”
Sidney felt the meeting went well and was really pleased with himself for inviting the Action SharePoint guys even if the one did beat him to the last chocolate digestive. Percy Pottersgate had asked Sidney to put together a detailed project proposal for tomorrow morning including a breakdown of all cost savings over the next three years. Sidney had missed his lunch in the canteen with Hannah Harper and now he was going to have a long night writing this Project Proposal. A good starting point though was the free ’12 Step SharePoint Project Checklist’ he had been given by the Action SharePoint consultants.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Secret Diary of Sidney Sharepoint (Part 5)
Sidney had spent three hours now trying to get his IT Training Requirements Form to look right in Word. It was nearly there but the formatting kept doing its own thing and the boxes just didn’t quite line up. It had been the opinion of the new Training Co-ordinator, Terence Turpin, that employees were lacking in vital computer training and that IT should send out a survey to find out what people needed training on. Sidney had thought at the time that maybe this should be the job of the newly appointed Training Co-ordinator, but Percy Pottersgate had quickly volunteered Sidney. As Sidney was thinking how he was supposed to find time to run any courses an email arrived from the lovely Hannah Harper. She was in a very chatty mood and had apparently had a very good weekend even though she had unfortunately had to take her hamster ‘Hanley’ to the vets as he had a nasty lump on his bottom. Hannah was saying that she really wanted to meet Sidney and mentioned that on a Monday she often went in the canteen on her own at about ten to one. This was good news to Sidney, even though he had picked up a rather nice cheese and chutney triple sandwich pack at the garage on his way to work that Monday morning. He decided that today he would go in the Canteen for his lunch and offered Colin his triple pack. Colin then told him how at his wife’s company they have a choice of over twenty different sandwiches whenever they were having working lunch meetings. Oh, and that all the minutes of the meeting were published and available on SharePoint the same day.
Over the weekend Sidney had gained ten new Facebook friends and sent out a few twitters. He had now discovered that SharePoint, WSS and MOSS were actually all just different forms of SharePoint. One expert had tried to explain the difference to him but Sidney didn’t quite get it. The main one seemed to hinge around the fact that one was free and the other had a very complex licensing structure. But everyone seemed to say good things about this SharePoint. One of his new virtual friends had though sent him a nine page long message on why Open Source was far superior to anything that Microsoft ever did.
When Sidney returned to the IT Office he was horrified to find Colin and Peter Pottersgate almost coming to blows. The reason appeared to be mainly because Peter had changed Colin’s automated 3D screen saver to display ‘Colin is the most boring man in Britain’ then set it to start every minute and then disabled Colin’s access to change it. Colin was generally a patient chap but Peter Pottersgate was certainly winding him up. Sidney considered disciplining Peter but realised his uncle would be against this. Percy Pottersgate’s nephew seemed very precious to him and especially for some reason his left foot. Sidney decided instead to leave them to it and make his way to the Canteen ready to meet Hannah Harper from Accounts.
Sidney only usually made one annual visit to the Pottersgate Paints’ Canteen because the quality of food was not of the highest standard since they contracted it out in 2004 to ‘Cathy’s Cheap Caterers’ . Yet every year in the third week of December, Sidney always attended the Staff Christmas Lunch. It wasn’t that the food was any better; it just reminded Sidney of why he didn’t go any other time of the year. The highlight of the Staff Christmas Lunch was always that members of the Administration Department acted as waiters and waitresses. Even scary Gwen Gardner dressed up and often ended up with her white gloves covered in tomato soup. Better though than the shaky serving abilities of old Alice Appleby who had a habit of getting the soup everywhere but in the bowl. Being a punctual chap, Sidney was at the Canteen waiting for Miss Harper with plenty of time to spare. He had to pretend to tie his shoelace as people kept inviting him to join the queue. Then just as the second hand on the clock behind the counter reached the ten; a familiar short dark haired lady arrived and then walked straight past poor Sidney. He followed her smiling inanely like an extra from Mr Bean. Eventually Hannah Harper realised who he was and greeted him with a semi hug.
Back in the Server Room Sidney reflected on a rather enjoyable seventeen minutes and forty-three seconds spent nearly alone with Hannah Harper. It was a pity that Ronald Roughwood, Safety Manager, had come and sat on their table then moaned non-stop about how rubbish people are at completing Near Miss Forms. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t had his HSE tie resting in his gravy. At least Hannah smiled sweetly at Sidney. She also had an interesting comment about how at the last company she worked for all their Safety Reports were completed via the Intranet and that they used something called SharePoint. This had prompted Sidney to investigate more about this SharePoint. He could start a SharePoint Project Team and get Hannah Harper onboard. He could use it as an excuse to meet her lots more times to discuss SharePoint. Maybe they could meet in the Canteen again or here in the Server Room or maybe even at Sidney’s house. At that moment an email arrived from Hannah and it was one of the best emails Sidney had ever received; it was entitled “Thank You” and simply read “Thank you for keeping me company at lunch time, Hannah xx, P.S. Next time we will hide from ‘The Gravy Man’.”
Over the weekend Sidney had gained ten new Facebook friends and sent out a few twitters. He had now discovered that SharePoint, WSS and MOSS were actually all just different forms of SharePoint. One expert had tried to explain the difference to him but Sidney didn’t quite get it. The main one seemed to hinge around the fact that one was free and the other had a very complex licensing structure. But everyone seemed to say good things about this SharePoint. One of his new virtual friends had though sent him a nine page long message on why Open Source was far superior to anything that Microsoft ever did.
When Sidney returned to the IT Office he was horrified to find Colin and Peter Pottersgate almost coming to blows. The reason appeared to be mainly because Peter had changed Colin’s automated 3D screen saver to display ‘Colin is the most boring man in Britain’ then set it to start every minute and then disabled Colin’s access to change it. Colin was generally a patient chap but Peter Pottersgate was certainly winding him up. Sidney considered disciplining Peter but realised his uncle would be against this. Percy Pottersgate’s nephew seemed very precious to him and especially for some reason his left foot. Sidney decided instead to leave them to it and make his way to the Canteen ready to meet Hannah Harper from Accounts.
Sidney only usually made one annual visit to the Pottersgate Paints’ Canteen because the quality of food was not of the highest standard since they contracted it out in 2004 to ‘Cathy’s Cheap Caterers’ . Yet every year in the third week of December, Sidney always attended the Staff Christmas Lunch. It wasn’t that the food was any better; it just reminded Sidney of why he didn’t go any other time of the year. The highlight of the Staff Christmas Lunch was always that members of the Administration Department acted as waiters and waitresses. Even scary Gwen Gardner dressed up and often ended up with her white gloves covered in tomato soup. Better though than the shaky serving abilities of old Alice Appleby who had a habit of getting the soup everywhere but in the bowl. Being a punctual chap, Sidney was at the Canteen waiting for Miss Harper with plenty of time to spare. He had to pretend to tie his shoelace as people kept inviting him to join the queue. Then just as the second hand on the clock behind the counter reached the ten; a familiar short dark haired lady arrived and then walked straight past poor Sidney. He followed her smiling inanely like an extra from Mr Bean. Eventually Hannah Harper realised who he was and greeted him with a semi hug.
Back in the Server Room Sidney reflected on a rather enjoyable seventeen minutes and forty-three seconds spent nearly alone with Hannah Harper. It was a pity that Ronald Roughwood, Safety Manager, had come and sat on their table then moaned non-stop about how rubbish people are at completing Near Miss Forms. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t had his HSE tie resting in his gravy. At least Hannah smiled sweetly at Sidney. She also had an interesting comment about how at the last company she worked for all their Safety Reports were completed via the Intranet and that they used something called SharePoint. This had prompted Sidney to investigate more about this SharePoint. He could start a SharePoint Project Team and get Hannah Harper onboard. He could use it as an excuse to meet her lots more times to discuss SharePoint. Maybe they could meet in the Canteen again or here in the Server Room or maybe even at Sidney’s house. At that moment an email arrived from Hannah and it was one of the best emails Sidney had ever received; it was entitled “Thank You” and simply read “Thank you for keeping me company at lunch time, Hannah xx, P.S. Next time we will hide from ‘The Gravy Man’.”
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